dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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