I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
