i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
