K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
