I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
