I'm gonna have a badass scar
just come out here and I will go home with you...
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
