also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
