I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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