So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
