My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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