Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
