dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
