I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
