im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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