Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
