Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
