He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
