Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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