Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out

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  (718): you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out http://tfl.nu/3q0w
  Replies (18) Good night (5254) Bad night (858)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.

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  (484): At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town. http://tfl.nu/jjq0
  Replies (82) Good night (6329) Bad night (693)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"

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  (804): when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again" http://tfl.nu/ygm1
  Replies (12) Good night (7453) Bad night (1860)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.

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  (910): For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea. http://tfl.nu/uefs
  Replies (16) Good night (5025) Bad night (1344)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.

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  (604): Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza. http://tfl.nu/qm6i
  Replies (4) Good night (2199) Bad night (1234)
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  (469): View more from Texas

  btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.

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  (469): btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath. http://tfl.nu/28ff
  Replies (10) Good night (1574) Bad night (2215)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.

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  (773): I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming. http://tfl.nu/u6dn
  Replies (7) Good night (4076) Bad night (938)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.

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  (216): another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night. http://tfl.nu/i20t
  Replies (2) Good night (1879) Bad night (810)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo

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  (409): Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo http://tfl.nu/65rk
  Replies (15) Good night (2458) Bad night (759)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.

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  (414): Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital. http://tfl.nu/5fyf
  Replies (3) Good night (719) Bad night (1206)
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  (845): View more from New York

  one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down

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  (845): one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down http://tfl.nu/yzd4
  Replies (5) Good night (1724) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.

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  (503): ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help. http://tfl.nu/liab
  Replies (9) Good night (995) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.

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  (218): We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand. http://tfl.nu/ljk5
  Replies (2) Good night (459) Bad night (513)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Boobs are out for the taking

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  (404): Boobs are out for the taking http://tfl.nu/yo2g
  Replies (3) Good night (660) Bad night (190)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?

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  (267): I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins? http://tfl.nu/zr7p
  Replies (5) Good night (377) Bad night (143)

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