My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Im part way to drunk.