You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
