Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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