I have demons in me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
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I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
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Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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