who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
