Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
