I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
