So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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