I didn't shave. On purpose
this boner is exhausting
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
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I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
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I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
We have started to decorate penises.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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