I wanna bring you to show and tell
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
People in love make me want to vomit
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
