Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
