We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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