So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
