I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
