Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
