in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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