Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
