i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
