just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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