we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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