I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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