not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
