I think i peed on brittanys purse
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
