this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
did i walk over a car last night?
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
