what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
