The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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