I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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