look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Randomize
