She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
