Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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