I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
