I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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