thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
