I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
