apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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