GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
