Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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