I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
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I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
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I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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