Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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