I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
