im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
