I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
false alarm, still single
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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