i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
So much rum. So many feels.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
